i watched a movie with you sunday...you held my hand and you let me lean on your shoulders. even in the darkness anybody who would pass by could have that lovestruck look i had on my face, needless to say...i was happy.

after the movie, i could not allow myself to let you go...not yet.

i wanted to spend more time with you, even for just that one night.i wanted to own you ...and i did.

we went to your place. we drank and talked about the things in our everyday lives. we talked about my sister, and your brother and their complicated situation. we talked about your work and what i do. we talked about your family and your situation at home.

but we did'nt talk about "us" or about "her".

i did'nt want to bring it up...

i don't want to spoil the great conversation that we are having with something stupid like "i love you...when are you breaking up with her...?"

i don't want to see that unsure look on your face as you try to search for an answer...because you are unsure.

i don't want to feel afraid...because i might hear something i don't want to hear. not that i'm not prepared, truthfully i am...but not yet. not while i can still take it...not while i'm still not ready to let you go.

you told me that there is dignity in silence.

you told me that people only asks questions when they are unsure.

so i kept silent...

i wanted to savor every second of being with you because i don't know when would be the next chance.

that's why in my mobile i named you "hiram".

i was borrowing...rather, stealing these moments from "her". i know it's wrong and it's unfair...but i could not pass on the chance to get together with you. the need to be next to you was so great, all concept of right and wrong, fair and unfair vanishes.

we talked.

we held hands and cuddled.

we made love and you spooned me.

everything about that night was perfect.

i'm happy beyond words but i refuse to be intoxicated with bliss to carry on that same hapiness the next day. because after that night, the next morning we would be going back to our respective lives.

when we wake up and you go to work, you would be with "her"... and i would be back to where i precisely was the night before...away from you, maybe in body but never in heart.

after that night, i don't own you anymore.

after all i just borrowed that time...morning came and beyond the silence i know...

my time was up...and that goes without saying...