in loving and losing

got this text message from you just as i was preparing to leave for work...i believe you already read my letter...you said something like "...there's not enough words...but...thanks...anyway...so long...bye bye baby...". i would have replied something melodramatic but i stopped...i need to get used to this, because even if i begged you to leave me alone, i know at some point, you still won't...and i have to be prepared for that. i don't want you catching me off guard again...vulnerable. i answered plainly..."yes, there is not enough words for you to say...problem is you just want to say it...you don't come around to do it, yeah...goodbye.." i wish it would be the last time i would have to tell him that. and as if on cue, when i opened a notebook, i found this piece of paper where a once wrote this some lines from a book,it said:

"when you lose somebody and you are not expecting it, you don't lose them all at once; you lose them in pieces over a long time -- the way the mail stops coming and their scent fades from the pillows or clothes in drawers and closets. gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. just when the day comes -- when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that they are gone...forever -- then there comes another day, and another specifically missing part..."

A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY
John Irving

yes,this rings true. for it takes a certain amount of time for us to get used to the fact that they are gone...forever...