lucas...

there you are standing...
with your beautiful eyes...
i keep looking your way
i keep admiring you from afar
don't look me in the eye
you'll capture my soul
just stay in line of my sight
keep me enthralled for a little more while...
you're smilin at some silly joke
i keep wonderin'
what if im the reason behind it
i guess...tomorrow i could die...
you're walking away
it's just about time
im holdin my breath
as i watch you pass by,
come back tomorrow
i'll still be looking your way
even if i'm just a face
with a name...

...missin you...

i never really realized that one could miss someone so much even if you have'nt had some real interaction with that person...he's just this guy i met in the chatroom and well,he did'nt turn out to be like most chatters.he did'nt immediately asked for my friendster account as if that's the only important thing to do,instead we passed the hours away chattin like we knew each other...we had a connection...so from chatting to phone chatting...passing hours almost everyday swaping stories of our lives,even cracking jokes and just plainly enjoying each others company...and now im at work and im dreading to go home because im not going to be able to talk to you all day (which sucks!) because your in bulacan...sigh...i miss you stranger...call me soon...

...somebody...

you know what the best part of the day is? it's when work is almost over, the people are trying to enjoy the remains of their day hoping to find solace in the silent goodbye the sun is bidding everytime it sets...
i watch people pass by,strangers...thinking what if one of them was "someone" in my life...i see couples walking hand in hand with that certain smile painted on their faces telling you how much love they have and how much they still have to give...i only get to see this from afar...i'm a peeping tom...catching glimpses of happiness from some other person's life...i'm a mere spectator...i envy those people,especially the old ones.it makes me wonder if in my-so-called-life i'd ever find that kind of love.someone to look after you and care for you,someone who'd make your crapiest day fine with just the touch of their hand...somebody...just somebody to be there...
here i am wasting my time trying to find the right one only to fall for the worst of the species.i think i'm already a pro at that...if only falling in love was as easy as 1,2,3, i'd give everything up.maybe that's the problem,i give too much,for me loving was always about them,neber about me...
i'd just like to think that maybe,my guy is just somewhere...on his way...he's just a little slow and a little lost,but i bet he'd be here...not just today...

.....

i'm sad...the rain made me sad...the rain made me want to cuddle under a blanket and hug somebody for warmth...it stirred some memories i've rather forget...of you...of me...not so long ago...cuddling under a blanket during one rainy night.we were laughing hard at really nothing in particular, we were just plainly having a good time. those were the rare moments we were genuinely having fun, spending quality time together. i curse myself, for admitting that despite the misery, there was a time in our relationship we were really being a couple...acting out our part. i curse myself, for letting these memories ruin the fortress i have built around myself to keep people like you out...to keep people from hurting me again... i don't know if i'll hate you or i'll hate myself...maybe i'll just hate the rain...

...passing thoughts...

it's been a while
since i last dried my eyes
when thoughts of you
would come to pass by
though i have learned
to live my life...you without,
i'm still not free
for your memories
cast on my mind
a shadow of doubt...
these are just passing thoughts
and soon they'll go away
i might even surprise myself
to wake up one day...
not to care
even if thoughts of you
are just passing
or even if they decide
to stay...

your voice drowns me,
cradles me to sleep,
even when i want to be awake...
your voice comes like a melody
ironic,coz it's not pleasant
to my ears...
if i could just wish you
to shut up,i will...
stop talking
and retreat to your little corner
have pity,please go now...
and slowly disappear...